In my case there are two. But one in particular has a hold on me that is ridiculous… 2 weeks… 2 weeks of innocent “love” or whatever you want to call it… The way I read people, my outlook on the female species, my relationships, & most of all my guard spawns from the relationship I had with this girl. It’s because of these two that I have faith in something being genuine & ideal for what I need when that time comes… I’m still 19 years old & with that being said, I’m chillin… But the feeling of having someone in your corner all the time for all of the right reasons is amazing yet I continue to shy away from that. Hell, I don’t understand why tf I do most of what I do.. Most likely some sort of subconscious thing. *shrugs That was a slight rabbit trail, but I’m still perplexed by this 2 weeks.. Her mind was & thought process is something that I can’t understand, well I understand it because I don’t understand it if that makes any sense… I’m intrigued by her dark side & the fact that she plays in the light just enough for me makes things even more complicated.. The fact that I’m writing this says enough because I sound like a bitch & things probably won’t ever pan out.. & hell if they do, knowing me I’ll lose interest or for the first time, she will which would be just my luck. That word, “closure” never really meant much to me.. Maybe because of this chapter that I never had a chance to finish.. Eventually it’ll get taken care of & if not ill chalk it up. *damn I sound like Drake but fuck it my heart beats slow.

-had to let that shit breathe.

the wild reality of the perplexed life i live is that i my interest lies in doing so many different things.

-long boarding

-acoustic guitar

-acting

-writing

-directing

-criminal psychology

-a threesome

-a cougar

-a trip to Chesapeake Energy Arena during the playoffs

-The Autzen Zoo

-write a song, a good song, one that ill like, fuck yall feelings.

-sad thing is, ill complete maybe 4 things on this list… if that.